"To Thine Own Self Be True" How to live (and work) authentically, and why it is more relaxing.
Before I became an entrepreneur I studied philosophy at university. I wanted answers to the big questions, “Why are we here?” Why do people behave the way they do?” and “What does it mean to live an authentic life?”
You might think that this doesn’t have much to do with business coaching, but actually when we align our goals and actions with our beliefs, and how we see the world, our work begins to take on a different meaning.
In this blog, I want to explore what it means to live authentically, and how being our real, true selves in our work, will not only transform how we feel about our business and affect how we communicate with our audiences, it is also a more relaxing and fulfilling way to live.
If the end goal is to get people to emotionally connect with what we do, I want to demonstrate how bringing our authentic selves to our businesses will not only increase the bottom line, but will also increase our sense of purpose and fulfilment.
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem
The quest for authenticity has a long tradition in human history. The Ancient Greek aphorism “Know thyself” is one of the maxims of the Oracle of Delphi and was used by both Socrates and Plato.
So let’s start with a closer look at what authenticity is. The Thesaurus will tell you that ‘authenticity’ is synonymous with words like, ‘accountability’,’ integrity’, ‘genuineness’, ‘reality’, ‘truthfulness’ and ‘truth’. Whereas the antonyms are ‘unreal’, ‘artificial’, ‘fake’, ‘counterfeit’, ‘bogus’, ‘spurious’ and so on.
For the existential philosophers, Sartre, Heidegger, and Kierkegaard the quest for authenticity was inextricably linked with the rejection of cultural and societal norms. They described authenticity as the degree to which a person’s actions are congruent with their beliefs or desires, despite external pressures to conform. For them finding the courage to be yourself means you must reject whatever does not fit with your personality, spirit or character.
We have all been in situations where we have tried to fit in or conform to something at odds with who we feel we truly are; it could be a group of people (the cool kids at school!), a profession that didn’t suit us, or a relationship that doesn’t really work for us.
When that happens in a business setting, we may realise that instead of being true to ourselves, we are trying to emulate something or someone else, because we feel it ‘should’ be done a certain way. And if this goes unchecked for a long time, it can lead to disillusionment, confusion, a lack of purpose and low self-esteem. This is because we are working at something we don’t believe in, and trying to convince people to buy into it, and how soul destroying is that?!
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion”
We may not realize it, but our attitude to business may have become fixed fairly early in life, especially if we have gravitated towards a particular profession. Over the years I have worked with many business owners who have had to challenge fairly fundamental beliefs about how things should be done, in order to reject that way of thinking and start running a business that really reflects who they are as an individual, and what their values are.
Check out this TED talk with some good stories about The Power of Authenticity from Mike Robbins
And there is the rub. In order to be our genuine, authentic selves, we have to get real and figure out what works for us, not just accept what we have been told. So begin by asking yourself, “Is this really me? Does this work for me, or am I doing this for someone else?” We have to be honest with ourselves in order to be authentic.
Honing your intuition
I believe that we are all born with strong intuition about what is right for us. The extent to which we were allowed to develop that intuition early on depends on whether we were encouraged to take risks, and get things wrong. Failure and disappointment are a natural part of life, and are how we learn our own boundaries, what works for us and what doesn’t, so being able to engage with them early on hones our intuition.
The good news about intuition is that it is never too late to develop it, and use it as our guide to a more authentic life.
When we have the courage to ask questions and trust ourselves to find answers, we are well on our way to liberation, leaving behind what doesn’t work for us.
People Buy People
Authenticity goes hand in hand with fulfillment and purpose. The most fulfilling thing in business is when people really get what we do and are so inspired by it, that they become our advocates and enthuse to others about us. Conversely it is also true that if, you as the business owner are not ‘feeling’ an emotional connection to your business, it will show, and it will be harder for others to connect to what you do.
My amazing social media guru Lisa Bullen at Social Media Sussex uses the expression “People Buy People” because it is all about the emotional connection that human beings look for in one another. Lots of businesses probably do what you do, so what do you stand for? What are your business values? And why do you do what you do?
When you are clear about the answers to these questions, it sets you apart from other business and people in your industry. This clarity of purpose then influences customers and clients to buy from you because they get what you do. They see where your values connect with theirs.
Digital marketing expert Neil patel puts it another way:
“The more virtual our lives get, the more we hunger after something genuine. What people really want now is not just a product or a service, it’s an experience. An experience that is more honest and transparent …more authentic”
So how do we reject what isn’t working for us and move towards a more fulfilled and relaxed life, at work and at home?
Pathways to authenticity
To live each day in a way that does not work for you requires huge amounts of energy. Finding the courage to be your authentic self is not easy, but to live a more fulfilling and relaxed life is well worth putting in the work. Here are some ways you can move towards authenticity in business (and life!):
Tell your story – All relationships start with telling a story. When we meet someone for the first time, we ask them to tell their story and we tell them ours. Storytelling in business is no different.
All anyone really wants to know is why we do what we do, what motivates us and what we stand for. I talk about this in more detail in my blog “The Power of Storytelling” but essentially it comes down to the fact that (to quote Simon Sinek again in his popular TED Talk) “People don’t buy what we do, they buy why we do it.”
When we focus purely on the attributes of what we do or make, it doesn’t inspire any real connection, and the chances are that people will switch off.
Nowadays we have more platforms than ever to tell our story, so find out where your community/audience hangs out and get to know them. We can engage with our audience through social media platforms, blogging, interviews, podcasts, videos and so on, and they want to be a part of our story.
When we use storytelling well in our businesses we connect with the heart, rather than the head and that builds connection and encourages customers to become advocates for what we do.
Be accountable – Accountability is a willingness to accept responsibility, and not to shy away from being scrutinized about what you do, or sell, and why you do what you do. Never say something misleading and stay true to your business values. If you make a mistake, be professional and admit it. Everyone is flawed – it’s what makes us human. Apologise and move on.
Have integrity – Work out what is right for you, not someone else and beware a ‘should’ voice in your head. Be consistent. Check in with what feels right and use that as your guide. Use your intuition and if something doesn’t feel right, walk away, or change what you are doing.
Be genuine – To be genuine is defined as “sincerely and honestly felt or experienced”. Whether we know it or not, we are inextricably linked with our businesses. They are a way that we express a part of ourselves and express our creativity. When you are ‘feeling’ it, so are your audience, so be yourself, and they will gravitate to you because they feel your sincerity.
Be truthful – It sounds obvious that we should tell the truth in our business, but it is fundamental to building trust with your clients and customers. Be transparent, answer all questions honestly and never make claims you cannot prove. That includes being clear about who you are as a business owner and not emulating someone else.
Keep it real - it’s more relaxing!
Remember, being authentic in business is not about over-sharing (No one wants to see your latte every day, or what you had for breakfast!). It is about quality of engagement and being true to yourself and your community.
Your business is there to solve a problem for you audience, clients and customers. Be clear about how you do that, by expressing your values, beliefs and why you do what you do. Start with figuring out why you do what you do, and use your story as the starting point for how you communicate.
Living an authentic life comes with a freedom from anxiety, as we are not putting out energy into maintaining a façade. That means we have more energy to put in to our business, which is better for us and better for our clients and customers. Win-win!!!
The movement towards open and trustworthy businesses is one that is not going away. Be yourself and be a part of that movement.
To find out more about how business coaching can help you find authenticity book a 30 minute phone or Zoom call here